BURLINGTON, VT – Wildlife experts report an alarming escalation in the Eastern Gray Squirrel's technological arms race against humans. Homeowners have found elaborate cooling systems constructed from acorn shells, discarded Slim Jim wrappers, and stolen watch batteries in backyard trees. 'They've evolved beyond simple nut hoarding,' said animal behaviorist Dr. Felix Nguyen, noting squirrels now prioritize stealing window unit parts over birdseed. The situation turned hostile last week when a squad of squirrels disabled a man's AC by chewing through wires, leaving a note written in berry juice reading 'Now you know how we feel.'